Why Am I Like This?!
We are a therapist and a psychiatric nurse practitioner and we want to share a simplified view of these complex concepts that are often misunderstood, avoided, and even feared.
This is a podcast about being human, adapting to life, and learning from our unique experience.
We try to provide the answers to question: Why am I like this?
Why Am I Like This?!
Why do I have Intrusive Thoughts?!
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts that pop into our heads and can cause distress when our brains get stuck in loops trying to make sense of them.
• Intrusive thoughts are normal but can become problematic when we can't let them go
• Our brains create these thoughts as warning systems when we feel anxious or threatened
• Childhood experiences and parenting styles can influence what intrusive thoughts we develop
• Neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, OCD) can make it harder to inhibit thought loops
• Assigning meaning or morality to intrusive thoughts only strengthens their grip
• "You are not the author of your thoughts—you are the reader who gets to decide what to keep and what to delete"
• Techniques like cognitive defusion, visualization, and humor can help manage intrusive thoughts
• Treating intrusive thoughts like "brain spam" helps create distance from them
• Trying to suppress thoughts makes them stronger—what we resist persists
• Improving sleep, reducing stress, and seeking therapy can reduce intrusive thoughts
• Supplements like inositol may help reduce intrusive thoughts in some cases
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Hello and welcome to. Why Am I Like this? The podcast for those who didn't get enough hugs as a child? I'm Laura Wood and I'm a trauma therapist.
Michaela:And I'm Michaela Beaver. I'm a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Michaela, why are we doing this podcast? Hey, I'm so glad you asked. We want to help you understand yourself a bit better how the things you learned about yourself and the world in childhood are still affecting you today. We want to figure out why are we like this, those random things about ourselves that we might wonder about, like why am I so jumpy? Why am I so anxious? Why do I take everything personally? Why are my thoughts so random or negative? Why do I feel like I have to fix things all the time?
Laura :Yes, and have you ever had a disturbing, random or unwanted thought pop into your head and wondered, like, what is wrong with me? That's what we're talking about today. We're going to try to answer the following questions what are intrusive thoughts, why do I have them and what can I do about it? So let's get into it. What are intrusive thoughts Like? What does that even mean?
Michaela:I love that you asked so. Intrusive thoughts are like unwanted, involuntary things, images, words and impulses that can be really distressing to us, that just kind of pop into our head, and sometimes they're things that, like we, we can't stop having that thought, like they're kind of um, we ruminate on them.
Laura :Okay. So like when something comes up and you just like go like over and over and over in your head and you're just like why can't I stop thinking about this?
Michaela:Yeah, but they're often like a little bit distressing, like disturbing, so like, and not always, maybe it's other things, but, like you know, have you ever been driving? And you're like what would happen if I drove off the ledge here? Like what would that be like? Right, so then, like, then you kind of. Then you start thinking like, oh my God, that's so weird, why did I just think that Now I can't stop thinking that you know, and you're like what's wrong with me that I can't stop thinking about swerving into, swerving off the road.
Laura :I've totally had that thought. I wonder if everybody listening has had that thought, because I can picture it like I'm driving on the freeway and I can even like picture a place on the freeway where I usually have that thought and it's a specific like curve and I like think about it every time I go around that curve. Like what if I just like hit this semi truck right now or something? Or like what if I just like drove off the road into this median, like what is wrong with me? Why do I think that?
Michaela:Well, and so I think that, like you know, in like a normal brain who doesn't have these like intrusive thoughts that won't go away, they, we might have that thought. And then we're like, well, that was weird, I'm not going to drive into traffic, like I'm not going to drive off the freeway or hit a semi, like that would really be painful, like I don't want to do that. And then they, and then we move on. Or I think other times, you know, some people try to have that thought and then, like, for some reason, they might think like there's something wrong with them or like it's so weird that they have that thought, and then they try to figure out why. Or like they just that that just keeps coming back and coming back and that makes them feel even more anxious and upset because it's like that ego dystonic, like it goes against what we actually want. We don't actually want to drive into traffic, but like we keep having this thought and it just makes us really scared.
Laura :Yeah, like, I can imagine somebody having that thought and feeling like does that mean I want to do this? Like? Does that mean that, like is my brain telling me that, like I'm suicidal? Or like is my brain telling me that this is something that I want to do? Like I want to hurt myself or something like that? Like, but it's important to remember that our thoughts, like aren't necessarily facts, like they don't necessarily mean anything. They're sort of just these random clouds that pop up and like I think about it like a word bubble, and then just like, let it float away. You know, let it just, let it just phase out of existence, like it doesn't have to stay. But, like you were saying, like some people, like everybody has thoughts, everybody has these like random thoughts and sometimes they have like distressing or disturbing thoughts, but not everybody's brain loops on them, right, like. So that's kind of the difference. So everybody has intrusive thoughts, which are those like unwanted, involuntary thoughts or whatever that pop into your mind, but you know they're not always stuck there.
Michaela:Right, well, and I wonder if it has something to do with already being in anxious distress, like maybe we're already hypervigilant from past trauma, or where our nervous system is just dysregulated and then fight or flight, and then we start having these thoughts and then our brain starts looping on these thoughts because it's trying to solve a problem. Right, part of our brain thinks that, like, if we can figure stuff out, then we can fix things Right, and then it becomes this mental checking or maybe like at some point, like doing the like compulsive action, if there is one, like you know, worrying about things is not, it is one of your coping mechanisms. So then I have to worry about this to solve it, and so then we get into this. That starts the loop, right, mm?
Laura :hmm, yeah, coping mechanisms, so then I have to worry about this, to solve it, and so then we get into this. That starts the loop, right? Yeah, I like that. You said worrying as a coping mechanism, because basically what's trying to what's happening in our nervous system is our like.
Laura :The worry is a response to threat, right?
Laura :So we have this perceived threat we might not recognize what it is, so we don't always know what our triggers are, or whatever but then our brain like does a thing in response to that and that thing is designed to return us back to our stable like central nervous system, that is, you know, in homeostasis.
Laura :So the worry itself is actually a response to the threat, designed to help us calm down, like it's designed to like fix the thing, and so the intrusive thought could be doing the same thing.
Laura :So like, for example, if you know, if I'm leaving the house, and every single time I leave the house like I think, oh, did I leave my flat iron on, or something like that and then I for the rest of the day, oh, I left it on, I left it on, I left it on, I need to call, I need to check, I need to go home and make sure that it's off, or whatever and then maybe that thought develops into something bigger, like my house is going to catch on fire and I'm going to come home and it's going to be this horrible thing. So the threat is, you know, just like that little feeling of anxiety that pops up first, and then it's like my brain is like oh, what's the anxiety for? Oh, it's because of this. And it tries to solve it, tries to figure it out, tries to prevent something bad from happening by telling me I need to worry about it all day.
Michaela:Right, exactly. And so then that starts this overactive warning system, and our brain is just constantly scanning for danger, even when it's imagined, like we can't know that our house is on fire, that whatever, but it's an imagined threat that we're kind of worrying about.
Laura :Yeah, what are some other reasons why we might have some of these intrusive thoughts, like what could cause? So we've got like this sort of threat response, idea of like something happens that we don't really perceive like fully in our consciousness and then our brain sort of makes it make sense by like giving us a thought about it. What's another reason why we might have intrusive thoughts?
Michaela:Um, well, yeah, I was thinking about this and I'm thinking like something from childhood caused us to kind of um, see the world in a certain way. Like um, for example, like what if, um, you know, in childhood we're sleeping and like all of a sudden, like we hear ruckus and like our parents are really like upset or there's something happening and they're like go back to bed or like they think, and somehow this person, the kid, believes that like someone broke into the house or someone's going to break into the house, like the parents were really worried, that like they heard a noise and then they make a really big deal out of it and now like, like, maybe this child believes that like there's going to be a break in right.
Michaela:They feel, maybe they feel okay as long as their parents can protect them, but then once they move out on their own later on, that, like something happens, they hear a noise and it re-triggers that, that response from the past. And then now they're, you know, in that fear response and they're, you know, always having to go check the doors or thinking about like what if somebody breaks in? What if somebody breaks in?
Laura :Mm-hmm, okay. So like an event that specifically triggers or creates this thought and then this thought kind of keeps coming back up when it's triggered. I also think that parents can like almost install intrusive thoughts by like worrying about specific things, right.
Michaela:So like if I have a parent who's constantly saying, you know, buckle up, or you're going to go through the windshield, or something like that, like I don't know, I have this, like I mean it's funny that you said that because, literally, um, just, I was, my kids are, you know, traveling right now, and and um, they're in the car and um, somehow the buckle got undone, or something like that. And, um, my, my youngest goes, it's okay, I'm gonna die. Anyways. I'm pretty sure that, like he's made comments like well, if I, if I don't buckle, like I'm gonna die, like if I'm not buckled, I'm gonna die, Like now, like kind of believes that, based on like something that somebody said to him, Like, at some point he must have heard this information.
Laura :That's funny, like, yeah, if you are constantly kind of telling your kids like at some point he must've heard this information. That's funny, like, yeah, if you are constantly kind of telling your kids like you're going to die if you don't buckle up, or like you're going to fly through the windshield or whatever, right, like, if you're super worried about that and you have a lot of anxiety, that's going to create like a mark, like an imprint on that kid's brain and then that kid might start having intrusive thoughts about, like, flying through the windshield, right, like, envisioning themselves going through the windshield, like or the, and then they might start to um, like, dream about it or think about it when it's like not when they're not actually driving, like or you know, then they might some common themes of intrusive thoughts is actually being afraid that something bad will happen to somebody else in their family, so, like, they might start thinking about like this bad thing that could happen to themselves or someone else.
Michaela:Like, if we have a lot of like, worry or anxiety about a specific thing and we kind of use these extreme measures to like, create a response in our kids, yeah Well, and you know what I thought when, when you were talking, was literally, like God, parents can't win, like we're everything, um, and I think that it's just it's hard because you don't know what internal message that they're going to hang on to, Right, and you're like trying to do a good thing, you're trying to make sure that they know that buckling up is really important, right? And so I guess, like, if you've unintentionally, you know given your kid this message, there are things that you can do about it to help them cope with it or whatever. But you know we want to, you know, I guess the good thing is we want to try to help provide awareness that, so that we can be mindful that words are actually pretty important. And I didn't know this, like I didn't really realize how important the way that we say things, how important that is.
Laura :I know. So I was thinking the exact same thing, like as I was thinking about you know, parents and their impact on intrusive thoughts and kids like parents are. Really parenting is for losers only. Like we cannot. We are not able to win ever.
Laura :I feel that deeply right and so we just can't get everything right. And that's true, right Like we're a product. Every child is a product of their upbringing and their environment and all these other factors. But I also never realized how powerful my actions and my words and my consistency and, you know, I never really realized how impactful that is and I feel like this is a whole nother episode. But we really have this huge ability to impact the way that our kids think and the way that they feel. But we also don't have control over everything. So when our kids do have these intrusive thoughts, you know we don't necessarily have to blame ourselves. Like, let's not play the parent blame game. I don't want to do that, you know. It's just.
Michaela:Intrusive thoughts can be a response to, like, stress and anxiety, and also a response to change and response to, um, any kind of environmental factor that's going on or genetic factors, right Like there's a lot of pieces of the puzzle that have to come together to to create these, you know, intrusive thoughts and make them be a problem, so it's not just one thing, yeah.
Laura :Yeah, Like for neurodivergent folks like I was, you know, thinking about ADHD, autism, OCD, some of those thought regulation systems like in our prefrontal cortex are not necessarily, as they don't have as much capacity to inhibit the you know, the continuation of those thought loops. So we're not, they don't have that organization to like recognize when the thought needs to stop and move on to a different thought, so we kind of get that stuck loop. And that's really common for people who have any kind of like neurodivergence in the way that their brain works.
Michaela:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because those breaks aren't able to go. Oh, I don't need to think about this or that was weird and like I'm going to move on. It's like we just get kind of like like that the song, like it's stuck in our head and we can't get rid of it. You know, it just keeps playing over and over and over again.
Laura :That's exactly right and we reinforce these thoughts in so many unintentional ways, right? So when we have these thoughts, we often will take action on them and then that reinforces that we're supposed to have the thought like that the thought was helpful or necessary. So, for example, if my thought is that you know I left my flat iron on and then I go back and check and turn it on like you know it's off, but I checked anyway like I might next time tomorrow have that exact same thought, right, because what wires together, fires together. It's creating this pattern. It's creating this necessity or this automation in our brain, like our brain wants to be efficient, our brain wants to do the right things all the time and like create patterns and automations. And so if I do something once, it often will automate and create this like pattern.
Michaela:Which is really helpful. Thank you, brain, because if we had to think about everything all the time, we wouldn't get anything done right. It was me to the muscle memory and things. Otherwise, we would literally have to, like, think through the process of trying to take a drink right or trying to brush our teeth right, like, but it's so second nature. We can be, you know, multitasking and thinking about other things while brushing our teeth right. It's a good thing that our brain does that. It's just sometimes, you know, it learns to do the wrong thing. You know. Now, all of a sudden, we're like oh, I need to remind you of this a hundred times today because it was helpful that one time it decreased your anxiety to go do that and we don't want, and then you felt better. So let's keep doing that.
Laura :Right, exactly, the action is a coping mechanism. So a lot of times we take the thought, we assign it as fact or make it mean something and then we do something about it. But what we need to know is that we don't always have to react to our thoughts. We don't have to act on it. Having a thought doesn't mean we believe it. It doesn't mean we want to have the thought. It doesn't mean we will act on it. We don't have to make that choice, like what was that you said about the author.
Michaela:Yeah, so you are not the author of the thought, you are the reader who gets to decide what to keep and what to delete.
Laura :I love that Like I'm not the author, I'm the reader. So this thought comes in, it's in my word bubble and I'm just reading it. I don't necessarily have to own it as, like the creator, I don't have to own it as the intender of the thought. Like just because they're intrusive thoughts doesn't mean they're intentional thoughts. Like I can't control my thoughts and there's a lot of therapies out there that focus on changing thoughts after they happen, which kind of like I think, gives people the illusion that we can like control our thoughts. But we can't. We can change our focus and change our thought after we have the first thought Right. That initial bubble is involuntary. That's just a thing brains do.
Michaela:Yeah, I like that. I like thinking about it like a bubble. I usually tell people that you know they can't. You know if it's not a good thought, right? How do you know it's not a good thought, right? We're going to pay attention to how our body feels. We're going to start noticing that we feel anxious and we're going to go. Oh yeah, I was just thinking about you know how I was going to swerve into traffic and you're like, well, that's weird, and I'm going to take that and I'm going to crumble it up and I'm going to just throw it in the garbage, get rid of it. Another therapist that I used to work with Um, another therapist that I used to work with, he he said, like sending it down the conveyor belt, like we're just going to put it, let it go, right, yeah.
Laura :And sometimes I think about an EMDR. We kind of think about being on a train and like watching things pass by. So like we're just, I'm just going to watch it out the window Like it's passing by, I'm going to keep moving, it's going to go, like it's just going to stay in the past, and so we don't have to necessarily interact with it, like when we are experiencing intrusive thoughts, and then we interact with it by saying why am I having this thought? Like what's wrong with me? You know why this is really bad? What if this really happens? Like all of these ways that I'm interacting with this thought, I'm keeping it, these ways that I'm interacting with this thought, I'm keeping it around longer and I'm making it more important than it really is Right, and so I tell my brain to focus on it.
Michaela:Yes, exactly, and that's one of the things that you should not do. So, you know, you try not to like, focus on it and read like you're. You're just strengthening those pathways If you keep reinforcing it, right? So instead, we're, we're going to like, name it, we're going to go. Oh, that was an intrusive, that was just a thought. It was an intrusive thought we're going to. If you think about it, like your email and things are supposed to go to spam, this is just like oh, it's brain spam, let's get rid of it. Let's send it to the trash, right, we're not going to put it in our inbox, we're going to let it go and we're going to, you know, name it so that we can feel better.
Laura :I love that brain spam. I'm going to start using that. This is brain spam. This is not helpful to me. This is not necessary. I did not subscribe. I'm going to subscribe to this brain spam right now, definitely what I'm going to start doing. I love that. That's so helpful. I think you know one of the things like the other thing you know that we've been talking about is making it a thought bubble and just like popping the bubble you know, just boom, like it just goes away.
Michaela:Well, and then another thing is is like, don't assign morality or meaning to the thought, and I think this is where a lot of people get stuck, especially if it's like a violent thought, right, like people are thinking about hurting others, or like that feels really, really uncomfortable to them, and then that must mean that they're a terrible person because they have that thought. And so then that just further drives the anxious distress which then tells your brain hey, you're distressed, I need to keep reminding you of this so that you, you know, can be okay, right, like this is important. You know, whenever it's really anxiety provoking, our brain attributes like importance to it, right, and then we get reminded of it more. So you're like really just actually like strengthening those pathways.
Laura :In that, in that moment, Well, yeah, and then I like what you said about not assigning, like, morality to the thought or any kind of like um, this doesn't mean anything about you, right? Because I think sometimes we think that the way that we feel and our thoughts like define us. But I heard someone say once, like your thought is not who you are, it's just a thing that you're having. Right, it's just a thing that you're having, it's just passing by. Your feelings are not who you are, they're just things that you're having. You don't have to act on them, you don't have to engage with them, you don't have to like elevate them to make them mean something more than they really mean.
Laura :And our brains, though, are like automatic meaning makers. Oh yeah, just want things to mean something. Like. If I showed you a picture of like a half drawn dog, you'd be like oh, that's a dog. You wouldn't be like that's a half drawn dog, you would say that's a dog, right, like we put together the meaning of it, and then it would be confusing. When I drew it into like an umbrella or something, and then like what happened? That doesn't make sense, because that's not what we expected. Like, our brain wants to make these thoughts mean something. And when we are saying like hey, that's not what it means, it doesn't say anything about you, like that's kind of an unexpected response, and so it can feel kind of confusing, like why did I have that? What if that's not who I am, or if I don't want that, or you know, why would I come up with that, why would my brain do that? You know, have that thought.
Michaela:Yeah, you know what I was thinking about as you were talking about that was remember those like, um, those pictures that, like you cross your eyes and you like, yes, and like sometimes people see like an elephant and then other people see like a person's face. Some, like sometimes just brains see different things, you know, and so like, does it mean something that I saw an elephant and not a person's face? No, no, anything. It just means that that's the connections that my brain put together, right?
Laura :So, yeah, those are the things that are connected, those are the things that are associated, and I think it can be scary, you know, when we have thoughts about hurting ourselves or thoughts about hurting someone else, like often those are some themes of intrusive thoughts. Like I can remember and we were talking about this before we recorded, like as when I had a baby, I would have like intrusive thoughts about like, oh my gosh, what if something horrible happened to my child Right, like, and then I would like, I would like visualize it and then I would have, you know this, this horrible thought that like something really bad has happened. And that's a really common experience with postpartum, especially postpartum depression, ocd and anxiety. Those things can come up a lot and they don't mean that you're a bad parent or that you want to hurt your child, they're just scary.
Michaela:Yes, and then you get scared. You're already in a like stressful I'm sleeping, you know, I don't know what I'm doing situation and it just kind of further amps things up, right. The other thing that people do to like they think it's going to be helpful but they like go on Reddit and they Google and they like try to get reassurance, or like they like want to keep playing it over and over and over in their head so that they can figure out how to solve it, how to fix this. How do I not think this again, like what can I do, you know, to fix me? Those things are just going to continue to amp up anxiety and further like reinforce those pathways so that you can you know whether it's the interestrusive thoughts that you're going to continue or that that anxious distress of worry and trying to search things amplifies. One of the two happens.
Laura :Yeah, for sure. It reinforces those pathways and it also like draws your attention to it. So anytime we draw our attention to something, it makes our brain think that it's important and it's going to draw our attention to it again in the future. Like, for example, if you're ever like about to buy a new car and you're like, oh, I'm going to get, like I'm going to get a Camaro right Now, every car I see is a Camaro. Are there more Camaros on the road right now? Nope, no. But I told my brain Camaro is an important thing and I want to focus on it, and so now I'm seeing all the Camaros that are going on. So it's kind of the same thing, like if you tell your brain it's important, your brain is going to go back to it over and over.
Michaela:Yeah, I don't think. I think everybody's probably experienced that, Like all you know that so many people had that kind of vehicle.
Laura :Yeah, Like I, you know, think about the that phenomenon all the time when it comes to what you're like, focusing on or what you notice in the world, like as we go through, cause we can't notice everything right. Our brain has to automate stuff. It has to, you know, it has to filter, and so we can. We can control that filter a lot of the time by giving our brain the information that we want it to pay attention to, by saying like and that's why things like this isn't about an intrusive thought, but like. That's why things like gratitude journals are really helpful, because when we focus on the things and we tell our brain that it's important, we notice it more often.
Michaela:Yeah, well, and that also makes me think that about, like people, what they learned in childhood and like what they saw, and how that might affect and increase the likelihood that they were they develop intrusive thoughts, right Like because of what they experienced and what was always seen.
Laura :that is going to increase their risk for having intrusive thoughts just because that's just what they were exposed to, and when we have a lot of anxiety and worry, a lot of the time we will try to like, prove it wrong Right, like we often will try to prove intrusive thoughts wrong and say like no, that's not true, here's why. Or you know the, you know I wouldn't do that, I would, I would never hurt anyone. Like I would, you know that's. And then we're basically what we're doing is we're telling our brain like, oh, you're silly, like you're stupid, like why are you thinking about that kind of thing? And that's not validating and that's not like supportive to making change. So like, instead of trying to prove it wrong, what parents can do and what we can do is stop and say, oh, I'm having that thought, that's interesting or that's weird, like I don't need to do anything about that.
Michaela:Instead of trying to suppress it and like not go away and say, don't have that thought, don't have that thought, right.
Laura :Right, like I think about like a well-meaning parent saying something to their kid like, oh, don't think like that, you know what I mean and that, but that doesn't change anything. Like we, what we resist persists, as you always say, and we, you know, make it bigger by, you know, suppressing something it actually, like, tends to grow. I kind of think about it like a little kid who, like wants his mom's attention. If I try to, like ignore them, are they going to stop or are they going to get louder, louder for sure, right? So like you can think of your intrusive thoughts as, like, little kids that are trying to get your attention, like you have to give it your attention, like look it in the eye and say, like I see you and I'm in the middle of something, so let me go ahead and get back to that.
Michaela:Yeah, exactly, it's like the um. Don't think of the pink elephant, right, right. Try not to think of it, try not to picture it in your head. Everybody's picturing a pink elephant right now.
Laura :I know, I certainly am immediately Right.
Michaela:So it's like what we, what we're, you know you're having to interact with it to suppress it.
Laura :Yeah, absolutely. And so labeling it, naming it, kind of giving it a like calling it brain spam, it naming it, kind of giving it a like calling it brain spam. You know, the other thing that we can do is a practice called cognitive diffusion, which is a way of creating distance from the thought. It's just basically saying, like that thought is a million miles away or that thought is, you know, I don't need to hold that thought really close, like that doesn't have to be like in the front, like I'm going to move that thought to the back, like that one goes in the file cabinet, like way back here, instead of like upfront, where I I I've got this stack of papers, like let me put this in the discard pile.
Michaela:Yeah, what about like thinking about it Like you know, how you said, like an old movie or like making it into a cartoon narration or something like that, so like you know, trying to change it in some way so that doesn't feel so real, or like kind of uses, like it makes it kind of like funnier. You can use humor to manage those thoughts sometimes.
Laura :Yeah, absolutely. Or if it's like something that involves you know you can manipulate the things that are involved, like if it's like a thought about like you with like a weapon or something, or like noticing a weapon or having a weapon, or like you can turn the weapon into a pineapple or into like a banana or something like that you can manipulate the thought and kind of say like, oh, what if that was a banana instead?
Laura :And like that wouldn't be as scary. You can because you are able to. Once your thoughts come, you are able to, like, look at them and manipulate them and change them, because they're in your head, like they're yours, to do what you want to do with them. And then, like sometimes I advise people to, like you said, make it a cartoon or play it like an old timey movie, like on the little screen, like where it's like do, do, do, do, do, do, do you know? Like, and then everybody's kind of running around in black and white. That can be helpful too.
Michaela:Yeah, definitely Obviously. Then too, like you know, if part of the problem is that, like anxious distress and things like that, doing the things that work for you, that you know work to decrease your anxiety, is also going to be helpful at decreasing the intrusive thoughts, like I think that the more dysregulated we are, I would assume the more likely that intrusive thoughts get worse, right yeah, like sleep deprivation, high stress, like isolation and anxiety and you know, things that decrease your general window of tolerance, like those things impact your ability to tolerate, like your life and your experiences and, like your, your distress.
Laura :So if we're, if we're having those things, if we're having those experiences already, like we're sleep deprived, we're isolated, we're on our phones too much, we're we have high stress, we're not taking care of ourselves, well, like we're going to have more we're going to be more likely to have those thoughts.
Michaela:Sure, yeah, well, and there are some supplements that I use often that will actually improve intrusive thoughts specifically, specifically, like inositol has been really helpful at decreasing intrusive thoughts in people, it's safe in kids and so, you know, sometimes that's something that we use to decrease intrusive thoughts from like a supplement standpoint. Obviously, like you know, that would be you know medication and things like that, depending on case by case situations, but there are, there are options and things that can be helpful from like a medication management standpoint to help with managing intrusive thoughts too.
Laura :That's interesting.
Laura :I had no idea.
Laura :That's really cool that there's stuff out there that is like possible to sort of help with this, with this stuff.
Laura :And you know, if you're feeling like you're having these thoughts they're unmanageable and you're engaging with the content, like you're maybe acting on the thoughts or you feel like you have to act on them and you're having these compulsions, like sometimes it's helpful to go get therapy, like to talk to someone, to talk it out, like we're as sick as our secrets, right? So a lot of the times we have these thoughts and I can remember this as like a mom when I first had my baby and I was having thoughts like this, like I didn't want to tell anybody, I didn't want anybody to know, right, and that just makes it worse, right. So when we are not sharing, when we're not letting it out, when we get into the shame spiral of having the shame and the guilt about the thoughts that are and they say this bad stuff about me and I don't want anybody to know and what will people think of me and and all of that stuff can be really harmful and really unhealthy.
Michaela:And so it's sometimes we need to seek help, like we need to go talk to someone unhealthy and so it's sometimes we need to seek help, like we need to go talk to someone, and this is something that we hear very frequently. And so you know, as providers, you know from therapy and medication management, stuff like that is totally a judgment-free zone, like it's a, it's the safe place, you know where, where you're going to be able to share that stuff without any, like you know, having to feel that guilt and shame for letting somebody else know, or what are they going to think about me? Because we don't think anything about you. We know that these things happen for many reasons and we're just there to help support people, but I can't tell you how many times I've been seeing people for months before they feel comfortable enough to share the kind of intrusive thoughts that they're having.
Laura :Yeah, for sure. I can relate to that as a clinician as well, like where people just don't feel comfortable saying what their thoughts are and they don't want to admit it because there's so much shame, and so it's really important that you recognize, or that you can know, that it's okay and normal to have thoughts like this, Like it doesn't say anything about you, it doesn't mean anything about you, and you know, a therapist is somebody who is going to hear you and appreciate what's going on for you and not judge you or blame you or belittle you for having those experiences. Yeah, yeah, well, I feel like we've covered a lot of ground here and given some helpful resources for dealing with these intrusive thoughts. Any last ideas that we can throw out there to make sure that we're giving some some really good advice here?
Michaela:Man, I feel like we really did cover a lot of the things. You know, I, I always learn something whenever we have these conversations, and so I think, yeah, we're just going to, I'm going to take away, like I, I think that I'm not, we're not the author of our thoughts, yes, and just because we had a thought doesn't mean it's a fact, right, and I think it's important to know that, like, we can do something about that, right, I mean, it's not easy. It sounds easy when we're just talking about it. It's like, oh yeah, just do this, and it sounds easy. When we're just talking about it, it's like, oh yeah, just do this, and it sounds really easy.
Michaela:But it's something that takes a lot of work, right, those pathways are really reinforced by the time. People get help, right, and they don't even know. Like sometimes, especially in kids, they don't even know that it's not normal to think that way, right, and so you know, I think that it's important to know that, like we're not, we're not, it's not bad, it doesn't mean anything about us, and we can choose to take that thought and throw it away, and we can learn to manage the thoughts that they're not, they're never going to go. The thought itself may never completely go away, but the more you unenforce that pathway, the less that thought continues to happen. Right, it may still happen from time to time, but it doesn't affect us in the same way.
Laura :Yeah, absolutely. I love that. That. You can make some, you can change it and do something about it and you're not the author. That's a really good takeaway, a good place to end today. So thank you so much, Michaela, as always, for this conversation and thank you for listening to why Am I Like this. If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with your friends. This episode was written and produced by me, Laura Wood and Micheala Beaver. Our theme song is Making Ends Meet by Thick as Thieves, and special thanks to Core Self Beanvieri Counseling and Active Healing Psychiatric Services for sponsoring our show.
