Why Am I Like This?!
We are a therapist and a psychiatric nurse practitioner and we want to share a simplified view of these complex concepts that are often misunderstood, avoided, and even feared.
This is a podcast about being human, adapting to life, and learning from our unique experience.
We try to provide the answers to question: Why am I like this?
Why Am I Like This?!
Why Do I Feel So Behind In Life?!
We explore why we always feel behind in life regardless of our accomplishments and how to break free from arbitrary timelines.
• Social media creates unrealistic comparisons as we see others' curated highlights without the struggles
• Childhood expectations of adulthood often don't match reality, creating feelings of inadequacy
• Economic realities today make traditional milestones harder to achieve than for previous generations
• Unlike childhood development, adulthood isn't linear—it has cycles, seasons, and no clear endpoint
• Early parentification can lead to burnout and difficulty finding satisfaction in adult achievements
• Internalized shame can be paralyzing when we believe we're fundamentally behind or inadequate
• Creating a vision board helps define personal values separate from societal expectations
• Notice when inspiration crosses into comparison—your body gives signals when social media becomes harmful
• Time only moves forward—there's no going backward, just moments of struggle within forward movement
• Success isn't a checklist but a journey that changes as your values and perspective evolve
Thank you for listening to Why Am I Like This! If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with your friends.
Laura's Free Course on Emotional Development and Regulation:
https://benavieri.com/neuroception-sign-up/
This show is sponsored by:
Core Self
Benavieri Counseling & Coaching
www.benavieri.com
Active Healing Psychiatric Services
www.activehealingpsych.com
Hello and welcome to. Why Am I Like this? The podcast for those who didn't get enough hugs as a child? I'm Laura Wood and I'm a trauma therapist.
Michaela:And I'm Michaela Beaver. I'm a psychiatric nurse practitioner.
Laura :So, Michaela, why are we doing this podcast?
Michaela:I'm so glad you asked. We want to help you understand yourself a bit better, how the things you learned about yourself and the world and childhood are still affecting you today. We want to figure out why are we like this, those random things about ourselves you might wonder about, like why am I so jumpy? Why am I so anxious? Why do I take everything personally? Why am I so jumpy? Why am I so anxious? Why do I take everything personally? Why are my thoughts so negative? Why do I feel like I have to fix everything all the time?
Laura :Yes, and today we're talking about feeling behind in life, and we're going to try to answer the following questions why do I feel like I'm so behind, why do I buy into these cultural pressures and how do I break out of this arbitrary timeline? So let's get started. Why do we feel like this? Why do we feel like we're behind, no matter where we actually are?
Michaela:Well, I think, I mean I hope in part that this is like a good thing kind of too, because this is kind of a sign that maybe we have goals and we have aspirations. So I'm going to flip this on the positive and say that it's actually maybe a little bit of a good thing. But I think that, you know, when we live in this society where we're always on Instagram and we're we're scrolling through and we can see all the perfection of all these other people and all these other things that people are attaining, and you know, how does that person have a huge house and a boat and drive a fancy car and I, like, I'm barely getting, I can barely afford my you know Toyota, can barely afford my you know Toyota. And so we see all these things and we think, how are they doing it? Why can't I do it? And so then I think that that, like, that's one of the reasons why we feel really far behind. We can never get ahead.
Laura :Yeah, that makes so much sense. Like I, as you're sharing this reason, I'm thinking to myself I can totally relate with the Instagram of it all right now, like when I see other people. I mean, as you know, I own a therapy practice and then we own core self, so we're trying to build that we just started and we're like in this growth phase right, so we're trying to do marketing. So I see all these posts from other practice owners and other therapists and I'm and they just look like they have it all together and I'm just like, oh, I want that many followers or I want that much success. I want to see that and I can relate to as um.
Laura :Like I never really was able to relate as a mom with, like the mom fluencer life because I had kids before Facebook was invented. I had kids before the iPhone was invented, so, so I didn't. I luckily didn't have to deal with that stuff back then and so I could never really relate. But now that I'm in this position where I'm trying to grow my business, baby, I'm struggling to get out of my head and and not get sucked in to this like they're doing better than me kind of thought process, like I'm feeling behind, even though I never really felt that before.
Michaela:Yeah, that's such a good point. I remember, like, even though social media was around, when I had kids, I think, like I tried to do this beach body thing back in the day because I was bored and alone and all around me had kids and I didn't have kids. I wasn't ready to have kids. I wasn't sitting there thinking like, oh, why can't I have all these things, but I was like what can I do to, like you know, spend my time? So then I did feel that way when I was on social media all the time trying to post, trying to, you know, look at everything and connect with people and, like before I even had kids, I realized that that, like that wasn't for me because it was so much work, it was so intense and so overwhelming. And I remember my husband looking at me being like, hello, are you here, are you going to join the conversation? Like you're on your phone all the time. And that's when I realized like I couldn't, it wasn't right for me, because I got sucked into it and it was just too, it was just too much, and so I haven't really lived my life being that like social mode, like social media, posting mom, and that I feel like is really freeing. I can spend time being present with my family and that feels so much more natural for me.
Michaela:But I can see how people get sucked into those, those thoughts, and I think, like when we look at you know, we're, you know in our 20s and we're like, why can't I just get through school, why can't I just get through this? Like I'm just I'm waiting for that next step, because I think that in part, maybe we think that like we're going to feel better or like more fulfilled or something when we get to that next step, when we get that house like and we have that house like it's going to be amazing, but then that ends up just being more work and more money because it decorate a home right Like I don't know. So I think like we're always like trying to look for the next thing to build. I don't know. So I think like we're always like trying to look for the next thing to build like to make yourself feel happy.
Laura :Yeah, there's so many angles that come up for me in this context, like why do I feel so behind one? Because I'm comparing myself to everyone else too, because I had this vision for myself when I was a kid, and now I feel like maybe I'm operating as like a kid or a teenager, pretending to be an adult. Like I say this all the time, right, like, are you pretending to be an adult right now or are you actually an adult right now? And we'd be surprised at how often our system is like internally just operating as like a teenager pretending to be an adult. And the fact that I'm not walking around in like high heels, a pencil skirt and a briefcase means that I haven't like achieved my adult dreams. Right, because that's what I thought an adult looked like. You know, I would read like Elle magazine or whatever, and so I'm literally in scrubs today, guys. And so I'm literally in scrubs today guys.
Laura :Scrubs are very adult as well. I think that's another version of like the professional adult is scrubs. But thinking about that when you're a kid, you sort of project this image of like what does adulthood look like? You've got the house, you've got the kids, you've got the stuff and you know you never really readjust what's reality. You sort of just project this like well, that's what an adult is like and I have this conversation with clients all the time like what did you think an adult looked like when you were a kid? And most of the time it's that it's like your briefcase, your whatever. And if you don't have that stuff, then you just feel like you're, you're failing or flailing and you haven't quite made it yet.
Michaela:That's so funny because neither of my parents brought up like a briefcase or wore like fancy clothes to work. My dad had a uniform, like he went to like his job every day. My mom worked at a school like neither of them had that, but like I still. Where did we get this idea that that's what we're supposed to look like, because neither of my parents looked like that. But yeah, I still am with you, like the dream of being that fancy person wearing high heels, which no, and I, you know.
Michaela:I did live that life for a long time.
Laura :And I, you know, I did live that life for a long time and I feel now like I'm like I've gone like backwards sometimes, like I spent my time when I was going to school. You know, in order to put myself through school, I worked in corporate and so I had this corporate job and I became successful because I had to go to school for eight years to do this. So like over that long time, I was able to become successful. So like I wore the suit, I wore the, I brought the briefcase, like I had all that stuff, and now I'm in jeans and a black t shirt or like a white t shirt literally every single day and I almost feel like I've like regressed, I'm like less advanced than I used to be because I just don't have that like professional business attire. Maybe I should just start wearing suits again to work. I don't want to do that.
Michaela:Sometimes maybe. But like, don't you feel like you're more relatable to clients when you look like a normal person? Right, that's what I tell myself. I wear scrubs to work. That's right to work, that's right. But I think what I'm hearing you say is that this can be a really normal feeling that a lot of people who are in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever we we often feel like we're behind, like we haven't met that.
Michaela:Mark, you know, it was funny. I had a conversation with my mom the other day and she was like, yeah, you said you wanted to be a dentist and then that that that was better than, you know, being a gynecologist or whatever you know, looking at teeth all day was better than being a gynecologist. That that was what I was thinking. I was like I never remember thinking that, like I don't remember this conversation at all, but like to have thought, like to be thinking those things and like I was already having these like huge aspirations. Even then, yeah, I love that those are your choices. Like I mean, I think I was probably just being sassy, but and I said something funny about gynecology, but you know, yeah, right, like there's probably it's better off if you are looking at one than the other, I think.
Laura :I think it's interesting. We all sort of like set these visions right, we have this kind of idea of what our life is supposed to be like, and then, when our life isn't there, we feel like it's, there's something wrong. But what we're not doing in that moment is recognizing the greatness of what our life actually is, right, like so, um, in therapy recently, I was talking to my therapist about this and I said, you know, like this isn't what I thought things would look like at this stage in my life. Like my kid, my youngest son, just turned 18.
Laura :And so now I'm, you know, going through this phase of life where I may become an empty nester and I'm like I should be like I in my head. I'm like I should be retired by the time my kids are grown. I should be like so comfortable I should be vacationing all the time, like now that they're going to be out of the house, they don't need me anymore. Like here's all these things that I expected of myself at that time, and now that's not the way that it is. But by taking away from what my actual life is, which is pretty great, like we're starting. We have this business that we're running together. I have my primary, my primary practice and you know I have these three great kids who grew up and who are doing great and you know, when we think about how behind we are, we're really discrediting the greatness of the present.
Michaela:Yeah, I love that, I love that idea. I think that, like you know, you're in such a different phase of life and right now, I'm like I can't wait for my kids to get older, like I can't wait for this next stage, so that we can feel like we're not chasing our tails all the time, and I think that, like you know, it should be easier than this, right. And so I think that, like for me, I'm also doing the same thing. It's just that, like I'm wishing my life, my kids, lives away, because I'm ready for the next phase, I'm ready for the next thing.
Michaela:I want things to get easier, and the reality, I think, is what I'm learning, is that it doesn't ever actually get easier. It's just a hard thing that you're trying to get through, right, like right now, it's like trying to get kids to this place and that place, but that doesn't change, it doesn't it? That changes to like a different thing. It's now it's sports, now it's this other thing, and so I think, um, we're just constantly wanting to. I think we're just constantly wanting to. I think our brains are lazy and like, in part, they want to just be taking the easy road and so, like right now, it feels so hard and it's like, well, I want to be where it's not hard, or I should be where it's not hard. Do you think that's true?
Laura :I do. I think it's almost like I'm looking for this light at the end of the tunnel, and that's the other thing I was going to say about why do we feel like we're behind is because we're always looking for what's next, kind of like you said in the beginning, and then what we don't necessarily realize as adults is that there is no end except for death. As a child, there's an actual end to childhood, like you grow up and you become an adult, so like there's a light at there's this end of the road that you're always looking for. You're always waiting, like once I'm an adult, once I'm an adult, once I'm an adult. And then, once you're an adult, you're always looking for like that next thing that's going to like offer you some sort of like primary relief from the stressors that you're experiencing. Right, and we don't have that as adults, except for literal, like we're done when we die, like there's no end, yeah, but even in retirement, right. Like I can think about a thousand things to be stressed about. I mean, just just ask, I'll give you a list there about a thousand things to be stressed about. I mean, just ask, I'll give you a list. There's a thousand things that we can stress about when we're retired. There's a thousand things, you know.
Laura :Like I was saying, I thought that this would be different, like when my kids are older I'm still so stressed about, like the wellbeing of my children. We just have a lot less control over their environment now. So it's just one of those things, like you said, it doesn't get easier, it just gets differently hard. And when we're young there's an end in sight. So we're always looking for that. But when we're an adult we're thinking okay, I'll get relief when X, y, z happens. I'll get relief at this next stage. I'll get relief at this next stage. But what we're not doing is living day to day. This is the journey of growth and development and ebbs and flows and seasons and cycles.
Michaela:It's not a linear progression, the way childhood is, and I think we don't realize that well, and I think maybe we learned that lesson, or that we're told, we're basically kind of taught some of these ideas in childhood as to be like always looking for what's next, what's next, what's next, you know? Are you gonna like you need to make it to this point to be happy, right, instead of being like wow, like I just finished a year of college, that's amazing. Like look at me, I did, I did it and I grabbed, like I got, I got through that year. I haven't graduated yet, but like okay, one more year down, okay, kind of like breaking those things apart and emphasizing like how good it felt to like actually clean our room and have a clean house for a moment, right, none of that lasts when you have children. It's literally a tornado went through five minutes later, but in that moment you're like yes, look at me, I vacuumed and I got things done.
Laura :Yeah, yeah, we want to take some time to enjoy each experience that we're having when we're having it, instead of looking back and thinking about how, like we look back with nostalgia or we look back with regret, versus looking presently, now and saying, like I'm enjoying this today, like, oh, how cool, we get to record our podcast today, I get to chat with you, I know I'm going to see you tomorrow, so I'm so excited, like just kind of like being in that moment and then experiencing what we're experiencing is a way to remember that there is no behind, because we're exactly where we're supposed to be and we're working towards what we're working towards.
Michaela:Yeah, I know, I always tell clients it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there, as long as you get there right. Because you're not going to be like, well, I mean, yeah, sure, maybe there's some things like you haven't made partner yet because you start you only started a year ago, whatever. But like there, for the most part you're not going to look back and be like man, you know, it took me so long to get here and I'm so mad about that, Like it's like I got here, I should be happy that I'm here. And in five years you're not going to be like, oh man, that one extra year that it took to get through that. You know you're not going to be beating yourself up, you're just going to be moving on to the next goal Right, you're going to move on to the next goal.
Laura :That's the thing, and you know we get sucked into these like cultural norms, instead of really defining our own norms we don't really set like.
Laura :There's not very many people out there who say I mean, a lot of us do like a vision board every year or something like that, but I don't know how many people really think what are my values Like?
Laura :What do I actually care about in my life? What are, like, the five top values that I hold, that I like that are maybe different from my parents, are different from society and they're just mine and they're like what I want to embed in my life, instead of just looking at everyone else and being like, oh, they look like they're doing great, I feel like I'm doing crappy. You know we're that cultural pressure to conform and like be they look like they're doing great, I feel like I'm doing crappy. You know we're that cultural pressure to conform and like, be like everyone else and like fit in and do what other people are doing and do things the quote unquote traditional way or the right way. You know, in order to break out of that, we have to set our own standards. We have to say what matters to us and like create our own values.
Michaela:Yeah, I love that. I also think, you know, maybe there's some truth and, like our feelings of seeing we're behind, or like feeling anxious or nervous about those things, maybe that's like evidence or like something information, like that, this it matters to you. So if you're feeling like you know, man, I'm not up for that promotion that I'm supposed to get, instead of just being mad that like you're behind and that you didn't, you're not going to reach it in time, whatever, put yourself on that vision board or that like goal, like set some goals and be like, ok, well, what? Here's my end goal. I want to do this thing. How do I get there? What are the? You know, maybe I need to talk to my manager and figure out what are ways that I can, you know, succeed at getting this promotion or whatever. And so then you start trying to do those things to reach the goal and instead of focusing on I'm being late or being behind, how do I get there?
Laura :Creating steps and systems that you can put in place in order to accomplish those things that you want to accomplish. I think sometimes, when we feel behind, what we're doing is we're really distracting from the anxiety and like the pressure that we feel, we're kind of saying, oh, I'm just behind. It's almost like focusing on being behind distracts us from being like moving ahead and it's almost like a coping mechanism to distract from like the feeling of, of, of fear, the feeling of, you know, the pain of growth, the, the uncertainty, the insecurity. Like it's easier to maybe feel behind than it is to be vulnerable and put yourself out there and that's scarier.
Michaela:Because you could literally do the things that you should be doing to reach that next step and still not make it Right. So it's that's a scary thing to put yourself out there for, because what if I don't make?
Laura :it right, right, like what if I fail? I think a fear of failure puts a lot of people in a spot where they feel behind and they're not able to move forward and take and they're like setting. They're experiencing all these setbacks and they're saying, you know, they're only doing it halfway, they're only putting out enough to like just barely take a step, but they're not actually achieving those goals because they're afraid to really go all out.
Michaela:Yeah, well, I also think that it's harder to reach goals now than it was 10 years ago. I mean remember it was $10 to fill up my tank with gas when I first started driving. I like things are just really more expensive right now. People are having a harder time buying their first home because it takes a lot more to get the financial capital built up to buy a home. There's real reasons why people are having a harder time making those big moves and then that makes them feel bad as well, and I think that emotionally, you know, I know technology is amazing and really really helpful, right, but at the same time, you know we're not getting the social connections. Maybe we're not emotionally as developed as what we could have been because we weren't connecting with people face to face as much, and so now we're having to play catch up emotionally in adulthood and that's taking a little bit longer to figure out what we want and to make those moves and things like that, just because of you know the way that we do things now.
Laura :Yeah, when we are thinking about now versus the past, when things were economically different, when our parents or their parents were coming of age and you know how many people were having kids and getting married at like 20 and moving out into their own house and like having this career and like pensions, and there were so many different opportunities that don't exist anymore, where we have to be a little bit more creative, we have to think about the world is a different place. Where do I fit in that? What does that look like for me and what do I think being a successful adult looks like? And it's not bad that it's not the same thing as what my parents had.
Michaela:Or what my parents think I should have.
Laura :Yes, I think a lot of we're antiquated. Our thoughts about what should be possible for kids today, I think, are antiquated. You know, my son is one of my kids, is my oldest, he's 21. And he still lives at home and I wrestle right, Like I kind of go back and forth like is he too old? Is this okay? I don't, is he behind? I don't know. You know, and right now, I think, in this environment, to your point, there is a lot of room for him to take the next few years and save and put away three years worth of rent before he moves out of the house. Right, Because there, you know, things do change and things are a lot more expensive and it is a different environment than when I was, you know, coming up and I had my rent was $600, you know like that's unheard of.
Michaela:I know I'm in a tear, I know the other thing that I feel like sometimes can happen too, is like and you kind of alluded to this a little bit, but, like you know, am I a kid pretending to be an adult kind of thing but like early parentification, like feeling so responsible for things early on before really that's time to be thinking that way or worrying about those things, those things.
Michaela:I think that that can lead to not only burnout and then that can slow personal development later, but it also puts your own like desires on hold. You're not thinking about what do I really want, you're just trying to take care of everybody else around you. And so you're delaying the like goal setting and the experiment with like, what do I want to be? How do I want to live my life, what are my goals, like. So some of those things are put on hold because you have to be the adult so early on, and I think that that can also lead to some of the, the delay in um meeting what. What they believe is like those milestones that they should be meeting or whatever.
Laura :No, I agree with that. I think when there's a child who has all the responsibility during childhood, then like achievement becomes less satisfying in adulthood, right, because we're it's like I've been doing this the whole time. Yeah, where's my value, where's my accolades, where's my reward? Like this is just normal, this is just what I'm supposed to do, I was expected to do this, and that's. The other thing is like parental expectations. If your parents expect you to take these next steps and get all A's and do all these things without rewarding you for that same thing, for with like the expectation without validation, I think is really um, trains you to not reward yourself later on that's interesting.
Michaela:I also wonder too, if, like what if that pressure just leads to failure, and then that just leads to more pressure on yourself? Now the parents aren't putting the pressure on, but the person's putting pressure on themselves and can never feel like they're good enough.
Laura :I think that's absolutely right. I think when we are sort of pressured into a life, a direction that we didn't choose autonomy matters when we didn't choose the direction that we're going, when we were forced into the expectations and the requirements and the role that we're playing, it makes it really hard for us to feel present and feel connected to our role. And when we're not connected, we're just going through the motions and we're not motivated and then we can fail, like it's much easier to fail. And when I'm not motivated to like get up and go and work harder, then I'm not going to be successful and then that leads to so much shame.
Laura :Yes, totally yeah, you have that internalized shame that something's wrong with you, yeah, yeah.
Michaela:Yeah, and that is hard to overcome when we have that deep internal sense of shame that's paralyzing almost, I would assume.
Laura :Yeah, it is, and it can be for people who just are, you know, feeling it so deeply that it's it's hard to overcome. And when we haven't had the experience of emotional exploration as kids, I think sometimes that internalized shame just gets to be too much and we don't really have an outlet and we don't really have a way to experience that shame without being consumed by it.
Michaela:Yeah, that's good. So we want people to kind of reclaim their own timeline, you know, reset those expectations and realize that, like paths are not linear, they're they, they don't have to be linear. Sometimes they can be right. There. Some people are going to follow that normal trajectory of things, but maybe, maybe you're not. People are going to school, back to school in their 60s because they changed their mind and what they want to do with their life.
Laura :Right, like things, don't you know, things can change and passions can change over time even yeah, we have to remember that there's cycles and seasons and ebbs and flows and ups and downs with life. Like, sometimes we just go through a hard season of life, a different phase of life. Anytime there's a transition, things can feel really challenging, daunting and discouraging. When we're trying something new, those times of life are okay and they don't mean that we're set back right. They don't mean that we've gone. We can't go backwards, we can't like. Time only ever moves forward. So there's no such thing as a setback. It's just a moment. It's just a moment that is of struggle, and then you kind of keep going forward because you have everything that you have learned up until this point, that all those resources and tools stay with you and you can bring them into the future with you.
Michaela:Yeah, I love that. I've been using that a lot when I talk to people since you said that, because I think that it's so important and I think that people really resonate and connect with that, because it's scary to go backwards Like I. You know that was really hard, that was a terrible thing. I can, I'm scared of being back in that place and that fear can be really really challenging for people Like um, and they don't realize that, like, the anxiety and the fear and the things that they're that they're experiencing now, you know, are just due to that thought of being back there, not even having to do with the ability to even go back there.
Laura :Yeah, sometimes it's I'm just having. We have to go back to our and we talked about this on the episode about intrusive thoughts. Like you know, we have to remember our thoughts are not the reality, they don't shape the reality we can be in. We can examine the present reality and contradict our thoughts. Our thoughts don't have to be the ones to like lead the way.
Laura :Um, you know and I think to kind of go back to reclaiming your timeline what we were talking about before, like creating a vision board, exploring your values, I'm a big fan of a vision board. I think I've probably mentioned it on other episodes. It's like one of my favorite things to do because it can be so validating and it can be so empowering. So, if it's, if you're not wanting to do like a board, a vision board, you know maybe making a list or writing down some stuff, you know a little journal entry that kind of just explains like I would like to achieve these things, you know, just putting pen to paper and making those thoughts or those visions, those ideas, just putting, making them a little bit more real.
Michaela:Yeah, I love that and I think that it's important to also like it helps you imagine that you've already accomplished those things, right, you're looking at like those things maybe it's in picture form or whatever and it kind of like makes them feel more real for you. But I think it's important to know that, like the end goal might change 500 times and it doesn't. That part doesn't matter, because life isn't a checklist, it's not trying to check off the boxes, and when we check off the boxes, everything is great and life is good and nothing bad's gonna happen. Because it's not true, right? Like it's not a checklist and we're going to change. Our values change over time. You, the way that we see the world, changes over time, and so I think it's more about like defining your success in a different way and looking at you as your success and trying to find a more positive way of thinking about it.
Laura :Mm, hmm, yeah, and think, think differently about your social media and the consumption, right, like, think differently about the content that you're putting in front of you. Inspiration is not the same thing as comparison, right? So if you have these accounts that you're following, that you're inspired by, you know, take what you remember when you're looking at that stuff, that this is inspiration and it's not like a comparison. It's not something that is designed for you to think that, to be less than it's for you to learn from, right? So kind of thinking differently about that can be really helpful when you're in that down that rabbit hole.
Michaela:It's like a barometer, right. It's like planning and preparing or consuming this to improve ourselves. And then we reach a point and we go over and now we're in like comparison and like feeling self doubt. And when you start noticing that shift in your physical body where you're like, oh, I feel icky now, I don't feel good, like I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling like I've got to get up and move, that's your body telling you like okay, we have crossed the line now and we are in an unhelpful territory. We, let's move on.
Laura :Oh, yeah, that's such a good way to measure. I. I think the crossover from appreciation to icky is a really good indicator that things have gone too far and you need a brain break from social media content and, you know, remembering too that what people put on social is just a snapshot in time and it's also what it's also curated it's. This is what I want people to see about me. This is how I want people to feel about me. This is how I want people to feel about me. This is what I want people to think about me. It's not necessarily representing truth or accuracy or you know, the present reality.
Michaela:Yeah, and how many people do they have on their team trying to curate that content Like? It's probably a lot more than you think.
Laura :Right, especially when it comes to influencers and companies like they're. Those are teams of people that are doing that work for them and it's planned ahead and it's all that. And then, but if it's just your neighborhood group or your neighbors like, um, or people that you know or your family like, think about, those are I want people. Like when people post on online, they think I want people to see this about me because it makes me feel good about myself and it makes me feel and I think they're going to like this. I think people are going to like this, right. And so if in any moment of any day, you think to yourself I think people would like this about me, like that would be good enough for social media, but like we just don't think like that. We're not posting all the time, we don't share our whole life, but there's a thousand moments like that in your life. Remember that you have those moments too. They're just not necessarily online and that's okay, right, I think that maybe that would be a good journal entry, right Like how many?
Michaela:moments did I have during the day, Like writing down moments during the day, Like write down, writing down moments during the day that were like social media worthy right.
Laura :We didn't capture it but like this is what I would want to put out there to the world, yeah, and this is what makes me feel good about myself, and that's the important part too. Um, and you know, if there's an account that you see that you're like, that you're always comparing yourself to, and you know, if there's an account that you see that you're like, that you're always comparing yourself to, and you just find it like you've crossed the line into finding it obnoxious instead of inspiring, like go ahead and unfollow them, like you don't need that in your life.
Michaela:But I also think that like unfollow some of the old thoughts that you had of what your life should have looked like, because you know I think you know whatever that was that you thought when you were a kid doesn't have to be your reality right now, and so that like idea of comparing yourself to this idea of life isn't helpful either. It's like okay, if I still want that, if I still think that that's where I want to be, how do I make that happen from here? But like you can't go backwards, you can't have started and you can't undo things Like where am I at now? How do I control the things that I can control?
Laura :Yeah, I think that's a really good place to kind of ground yourself in, for sure. Well, I think that's a lovely place to end today. Thank you so much for all of these tips and advice. Um, I love this. This is a great conversation and we will see you next time. And thank you so much for listening to why Am I Like this? If you like our show, please leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow the show and share it with your friends. This episode was written and produced by me, laura Wood and Michaela Beaver. Our theme song is Making Ends Neat by Thick as Thieves. A special thanks to Core Self Benavieri Counseling and Active Healing Psychiatric Services for sponsoring our show.
